So-Bad-It's-Good

            The caliber of movies produced today far exceeds the movies from decades ago. However, with the technology we have for movies today, it doesn’t allow for the campy movies we were given during the 80’s, as everything today has a more polished look, even if it’s direct-to-video garbage like American Pie 24.

            Instead, the 80’s represented a decade defiled by some truly awful films. I’ve scoured many a bargain bin and Internet forums in order to find some of the worst. It’s kind of a hobby I have, watching horrible 80’s trash movies. Over the years I’ve managed to show some of these crap-covered gems to some people who have also taken a liking. While I can’t provide you with these movies to watch, I can still impart a list of some good one’s along with some of the more memorable scenes. In no particular order…

1. Troll 2

This 1990 sequel is notorious. So notorious in fact that it has not only sprung it’s own internet mime and been mentioned by talk show host Conan O’Brien, but it’s even become the subject of a documentary entitled Best Worst Movie, which was made by the films child star Michael Stevenson. Here is one of the more infamous scenes in question.

This movie has a number of scenes like the above that have let it become something of a cult classic. In fact the movie has no relation to its predecessor other than the name. In fact the movie does not even feature trolls. Instead they are replaced by goblins, and we have a whining kid running around a city called Nilbog (Goblin spelled backwards, fucking surprise) screaming about goblins while no one believes him…Hmm, sounds familiar. What sucks the most for this kid is the fact that he’s somehow able to see the manifested spirit of his long dead grandfather, who helps him in his quest to defeat the goblins before they turn his family into goblin food! Guess what the goblins weakness turns out to be?!

I’m going to go kill myself now!

2. Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2

Without a shadow of doubt, this is my favorite so-bad-it’s-good movie of all time. This movie, obviously a sequel, managed to do something I’ve never seen before. Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 is a 45 minute movie that was turned into an hour and a half by using 45 minutes of footage from the first film. There are so many memorable scenes that showcase how bad the acting is. The following one has become an Internet phenomena as well.

Absolutely fucking brilliant. Unfortunately this movie is now out of print so locating a copy is going to be difficult, but if you can get your hands on this gem, I guarantee an hour and a half of non-stop unintentional laughter. The movie is so bad that even the director has apologized for the movie, on the DVD commentary no less! So check this gem out if you can!

3. Hobgoblins

Enough said. This movie was one of the many that received the Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment, and deservedly so. This movie is absolute torture to watch. Even if you are not sober this movie is torture to watch. The trailer just about says it all. If you want to be able to survive this movie, watch the MST3K version. Sadly this movie recently spawned a sequel almost 20 years later as a result of the popularity brought on from the episode on MST3K, so if you make it through this, you are still only halfway there.