I sometimes spend hours trolling the Internet for absolutely no reason. Half the time I have nothing to look at, but end up seeing links to other sites with stories or pictures that I just have to see. Like most people, I usually come across some pretty odd things, ranging anywhere from celebrity gossip to news of a transgendered conservative (isn’t that an oxymoron?) running for office in San Francisco.
This week, I came across four things that yielded reactions from laughter to confused shock. I thought they were too good not to be shared so without another moments hesitation…
1. Pamela Anderson
Yes, we all know who she is. This woman has been the poster child for a life in the media spotlight. Her headlines have revealed sexual escapades with former beau’s, told us which letter of Hepatitis she has, and exact time and dates with when Ms. Andersons boobs would be bigger than the Goodyear blimp. Yet a stranger revelation has come upon me. Look below…
What do you see in this picture? Yes I know Pamela’s nipples are hard perverts, thanks for pointing out the obvious. I’ll give you another hint; it has nothing to do with the obvious weight gain.
The big story, no pun intended, is between her legs. That just nullified my pervert comment earlier.
It looks like Pam is packing a bulge in there. Could it be that the woman of every 90’s child’s wet dream is really a dude? Could be, but also highly unlikely. We could probably assume that it’s a result of Pamela’s promiscuity, but I seem to like my roommate’s analysis of the picture better; it’s just one big Herpe.
2. Wanket!
I know times are tough for everybody. Everyone is bleeding money financially, and the housing market is still in shambles. However, this is just crossing the line.
Are you fucking kidding me? How do the words "real estate" and "masturbation" end up in the same sentence? Besides, I’d be too worried this guy would be trying to put his hand down my pants during the showing. Thinned hair and horn-rimmed glasses just shout molester.
3. Irony
There is so much I could say about this picture. However, this is truly a picture worth a thousand words, if just for its irony of the whole situation.
I can only imagine what caused the driver of the truck to be pulled over. I also want to know if it's considered assaulting an officer if the cop dickishly binges on the donuts and falls into a sugar-induced coma. Probably not, but at least your bribe is in the backseat.
4. Nirvana
This falls into one of those categories where you don’t want to laugh because of the tragic circumstances of the author, but at the same time you can’t help but laugh because of the way it was written.
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Translation: Dear Empty TV
the entity of all Corporate Gods
We will survive without you easily — — the oldschool is going DOWN FAST
my lifes Dedication is Now to Do Nothing But SLAG something
Kurdt Kobain xxx
professional Rock musician
Looks like Kurt saw MTV for what it really is! I think the font type is Helvetica Junkie. Alright that was in poor taste, but I love Kurt Cobain and it was a tragedy. Either way, this letter had be laughing. And for those of you who don’t know what a SLAG is, don’t fear. I had no clue of what it meant either. Gotta love dictionaries! A slag is defined as “A prostitute or promiscuous woman. Also occasionally heard with reference to such men.”
So I guess it’s safe to assume Kurt is saying he’s going to go out and have sex with something. Why he chose Courtney Love is beyond me…
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